WELL ACTUALLY, IVE BEEN INTERNALISING YOUR REALLY
COMPLICATED SITUATION IN MY HEAD
Therefore, today’s blog is brought to you by the letter ‘Uuuuugggghhh’
No, it’s not displeasure at a loved one, a rainy day, and
PMS all joining forces to create a Perfect Storm (though I’m sure it does
happen occasionally).
What has been stressing me so, little one . . . .
Is YOU . . . yes, you
my child
. . . and how I can
help you get your shite (because it would be rude to say the other word)
together.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GETTING _______________’S (insert
name) SHITE TOGETHER
1.
Get some paper and a pen - go on, I’ll wait, it’s not like I’ve got man
here wanting to ravage me (oh, poo I think I said that out loud) – although the
nearly 80 yr old stalker did make another appearance last week (ego only very slightly
re-inflated) - lordy, best you hurry up, before I tell you more of my life story -
2.
Write down one thing that you AREN’T doing in your life, that
is making you feel all loserly
3.
Yes, I know, you in particular have more than
one thing, so write a list of all the things you are not doing, that are making you
feel loserly (NOTE – these do not have
to be health related)
4.
If you did write a list, stop getting all worked
up about choosing one. Put the piece of paper in front of you, close your eyes
and drop your pen on the page, where it made a mark is the one you choose - like you did in the phone book when you were
a teenager before you made a crank call
5.
Turn your ‘thing’ into a project by giving it a
name (the following is inspired by my new
friends at Cougar Fitness in New York) –
Something like OPERATION COUGAR - I prefer
Operation to Mission, mainly because when I say mission, the word ‘impossible’
comes immediately to mind, and ‘mission’ just sounds hard
NOTE TO EVERYONE . . . did you see what my clever self just did there,
did you???
I went and made you give
birth to an idea, that you now have full ownership of. It is your newest ‘baby’ – and just like a
real baby, you are not allowed to leave it to fend for itself . . . YOU have to
help it grow . . . see genius!
I have
it on good authority that I am actually a genius. Because in my former life as a police osafa
(yes, I’m drunk), one of those criminal types said to me “Chur, you smart as
Miss” – I’m thinking of putting it on my business card!
6.
Write down one action that you have to take, and
are going to take, in the next 24 hours to 7 days (time frame will be ‘operation’
dependent), to move you towards that goal.
An example utilising Operation Cougar as our start point might be:
Replace all sensible shoes & ‘appropriate’
blouses with a nose stud, bangin stiletto heeled boots and skin tight
t-shirts I did just say it was an example!
7.
Now, pretend
that my ‘smart as’ self is sitting right there next to you . . . and I have a
magic wand that allows me to say exactly what you need to hear, to encourage
you in your quest for Cougar-ness (or whatever it may be), and write down what I
just said, so you can refer to it often
8.
On a daily basis, repeat #6 until said Operation
is complete, and Operation Commander (that’s you) is happy with outcome.
9.
Comment back to me with accolades of my genius
(so I don’t run out of things to put on my business card)
And if you want to see where the quote in the pic came from
watch here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4E1cfOE7P4
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